Tell Me Why I Don’t Like Mondays ...

There is something inherently horrific about Mondays. Somehow I had always thought that when I finally worked away from the office I would be free from the overwhelming sense of malaise that comes with the first official day of the week. If I could control where I worked from, what I worked on, if I really, truly loved what I did, then that dreaded empty feeling would be a thing of the past wouldn’t it?

Incorrect.  It’s Monday and here it is as strong as ever. And I know it’s not just me who feels like this.  The Mamas & Papa’s, The Bangles and the Boomtown Rats all hated Monday’s. And they spent their days shagging and getting high.

So why this sense of melancholy at the beginning of the week? Is it our jobs? Is it in our nature? Is it science? This morning after I concluded that a feed of bananas pancakes, two strong coffees and successfully worming my way out of a parking fine had failed to bolster my spirits, I turn to Google to postulate: Why do we feel like sh@t on Mondays?  As you would expect there are many online experts with views around this and even several studies commissioned on the topic (including one by Marmite!?!). Their advice to cure the Monday blues includes, but isn’t limited to:

1.) Singing out loud. Sound advice (pardon the pun) but likely to see you shunned socially if done from your desk at 9:30am.

2.) Having S@x.  As Above.

3.)  Writing a list of what is making you feel bad.  Cannot guarantee this won’t make you feel worse.

4.) Paint a picture – Unsuitable for anyone other than artists or kindergarten teachers

5.) Watching videos you like – actually wholeheartedly agree with this one

So after losing 45 minutes to delightful cat montages on YouTube and only partially cheered, I begin to get existential: I wonder is ‘Mondayistis’ hardwired into us?

Are there cosmic reasons that Monday’s suck? Perhaps it has something to do with the moon’s phases? After all, the word Monday is derived from Old EnglishMōnandæg which means “moon day”. Or was some mythical Greek god banished to eternal damnation for sleeping with their mother…. on a Monday?

After all, why do I have nightmares right before a Monday?  Is there some dark hour in the night where ‘The Sunday Fear’ hands over the conch to ‘The Monday Horror’?

But then how do you explain public holidays on Monday’s and their awesomeness.  Or the fact that in Islamic, Hebrew and Christian calendars Monday is actually the second day of the week. Which means Monday is Tuesday. And Tuesday is Hump Day.

Maybe this is all just analysis paralysis and this lump in my throat and rock in my stomach is just a come down from the weekends overindulgence….but hang on, I didn’t even drink on the weekend.

Then it comes – like a bolt from the blue. It’s loneliness. Monday = Loneliness.  If you’re lucky enough to have family and friends the weekend has revolved around socials activities. Parties, dinners, sports, countless coffees, Sunday roasts and lifesaving Bloody Mary’s.  A blur of activity. And then slam.  It’s over. Much quicker than it began because we start plotting, planning and talking about the weekend on Wednesday. But we spend no time at all preparing for the gaping loneliness that Monday brings when the party is over.  And whether you love your job or not, most of you will not be spared from this.

So instead of concluding this article with my “Top 5 Expert Tips For Rocking Out Like Bob Geldof on a Monday”. I will suggest just this – Call your mate, or your Mum, or your lover, or sister and tell them that you miss them. Cos you do. And cos it’s Monday and it’s quite possible that they are feeling lonely too!